Wednesday, March 19, 2014
In my life I have had to face many obstacles that were difficult, one being depression. If you have ever had it or felt it you know what I'm talking about. That sick feeling all across your body. My depression kinda switched on and off with me which was a big thorn in my side. Most recently it has stayed out of my way and it feels amazing, it's like the fog that always covered me up was gone. But all good things come to and end. During the time of last year were it was at its most worst is were my story comes up (and a bit this year as well). At that time last year I stopped eating, I didn't want to go to school, I slept in (I mean I always sleep in but I just didn't want to get out of bed, I was so miserable). I thought everything in life was just awful and had nothing good to offer me anymore. Until I found a song, no not one but many, so many! Each song gave me back one emotion. Happiness, Sadness (slightly different), Joy, Pride, Hope, so much. One by one my emotions filled and I could feel again, it was wonderful. One song being name 'A Maidens Illsionary Funeral~Necro-Fantasy'. For months I listened to the music until depression struck me again. The music had no effect on me, it just felt old and already used. I struggled for a majority of that time and just had no idea what to do. A little bit later I got a bit interested with my skin and damaging it. I felt no hope. None. Until, I toke out some paper and pencil, and drew something. Then another something, circle after triangle then square after triangle. Anatomy after Iris. Leg after arm. I felt a surge of inspiration. Not a spark, a surge. And I was drawing again, before I became depressed I was a drawing maniac. But lost all motivation to draw. But it all came back. When I started to put the songs into my art it just improved and that something I thought I could never do in my life. It made me so happy it was unbelievable. I mean my art still has a long way to go.. But it will get there.. It may take a while but it's worth it. As long as I have music and art in my life. I'm perfectly fine!